micro-supplement to Girlfriend Material 2010 to close the Valentine’s Day posts:
1. teach me things and let me teach you things. I love learning.
2. communicate freely and openly (verbally or non-verbally)
4. must not be opposed to occasionally singing and dancing to oldies in the kitchen with the FutureChildren and me. I’m not in any rush for FutureChildren (I want to finish medical school first), but I would like to be a father eventually.
5. make bad puns without shame
6. no stranger to sarcasm
7. receptive to acts of love from cheesy to this (and beyond~)
9. if you do something well (write, draw, sing, dance, cook, juggle, breathe, anything, it doesn’t matter), I will adore it
I’ll write a more substantial post when I have enough free time.
It’s wedding season and every weekend is an opportunity for my very eager parents to ask if I have a girlfriend (nope), plans to get married (I do) any time soon (oh), or if I’m interested in this nameless, faceless, Harvard MPH doctor girl from New York (eh, I don’t know anything else about her).
Okay, they only threw her out one day, but it was all day that day.
So, here’s what I’m looking for, Universe. In no order, and with the possibility of editing this list every hour:
Confidence - I want someone who can act with certainty, someone who is sure of herself. Confident people have contagious energy. I don’t have a problem supporting you through doubt and hard times— everyone experiences that, and I’m more than willing to be there— but you shouldn’t start fishing for compliments.
Intelligence - It’s okay if you didn’t earn your doctorate by age 19— I’m just making sure we can have a serious discussion about things. I hope you read, know what’s going on in the world, and can understand different perspectives and views.
It disappoints me when I see girls act dumb to impress guys. I don’t want a girl like that. Embrace your intelligence. Be as smart and get as much out of your brain as possible.
Humility - This goes hand-in-hand with confidence and intelligence. Know who you are without feeling the need to tell everyone how great you are or making everything a look-at-me situation. Sell yourself at job interviews. You don’t need to sell yourself to me. I already see something in you.
Compatible sense of humor - When I’m comfortable with the people around me, I enjoy keeping things light and bringing in humor. Chemistry and timing are two very powerful things, and I love finding someone I can get in sync with. Be dorky. Be witty. Be you. You don’t have to have my exact sense of humor, just something compatible. It’s also important to know when to joke around and when to be serious.
Open to learning - I love learning new things. I’m open to learning new things from you, and I hope you’re open to learning new things from me. I don’t like willful ignorance.
Good with/ doesn’t hate children - Not relevant now, but if FutureGirlfriend wants to become FutureWife, she should like children and work well with them. I think I get along great with kids. I want to have children and a family in the future (not any time soon), so it’s important to find a girl with a warm heart and a good head on her shoulders.
Not a slacker - Take pride in what you do. I don’t know why laziness or slacking was lauded so heavily by kids in school, but it’s unattractive and frustrating to see those qualities in people. I try to give whatever I’m doing— work, relationships, etc.— as much as I can. I hope you work hard in whatever you do.
I expect both of us will work hard within the relationship, too. Do things because you feel like you should do them, because you want to do them, not because you’re crossing chores off a list. Your heart should be in it.
Goals/ driven - Have an idea of who you want to be in the future and take the steps to realize it.
Able to function solo - We might not spend every minute in life together. Can you function on your own? Can you be Beyonce?
Loyal/ committed - I value loyalty. I think there’s security in stability. I love stability. If I’m with you, I’m with you, and you won’t have to worry about me looking elsewhere. I have a hard time understanding why people cheat in relationships— and I have low tolerance for it. If I like you, and you like me, why screw up a good thing by cheating? We’re dating because I want to be with you and you want to be with me. If not, we shouldn’t be dating.
Care for others - I think it’s important to help people who may not be as fortunate as you are. You don’t have to volunteer every weekend, but do what you can for others. It is fulfilling for you and makes a difference in their lives.
Get along with friends and family - These are important people in my life. You don’t have to be best friends with them, but it would be great if everyone liked each other and got along well. The same goes for me with your friends and family. I want to get to know them.
Have a personality - Don’t be a robot. Think for yourself. Have genuine interests. Have a voice. I’m looking for a partner, not a subordinate.
Have a creative side - Dance, ballet? Drawing, painting, sculpture, photography? Writing? Decorate? Theatre? Music? Something? Do you have a creative outlet?
Let me do nice things for you - Making people happy makes me happy. I won’t be overwhelming 24/7 with it, but let me do little nice things for you. Don’t inhibit that.
If you like college/ professional football, Gothic architecture, design, fashion editorial photography, things with blueberries, and music, that’s a bonus. Plus, your last name could one day be Sebastian, which is a pretty solid surname (if I do say so myself). I’d pick it again if I had the chance.